There are some things that can only come to you through accumulated life experience and the vantage point of years. Isn't music often the thread that sews our memories and remembrances together. Never Be Mine by Kate Bush - do you know that one? I urge you to seek it out. Its a song that never leaves me due to its haunting lyrics and wistful dream like atmosphere. It is essentially a meditation on unrequited love - 'I look at you and see, my life what might have been..'
I first heard it on a series of perfectly heartbreaking (I know this in retrospect) mix tapes made for me by a friend. I listened to them late into the night in my first solo flat. A cool, but tiny and expensive place in Glasgow's Merchant City. There were other songs like Kiteflyers Hill by Eddi Reader, Girl from Mars by Ash and Let me Paint You a Picture by Billy Bragg - you get the picture.
At the time I viewed these songs through the prism of my own relationship (s) angst and completely overlooked the heart of the person who gave them to me. It was the arrogance of youth I think and blind belief that men and women can be friends without sex coming in the way. Suffice to say that song has stuck with me through the years, it is immensely intense with meaning and I regret being blind to the enormity of feelings it might have encapsulated.
Being more aware back then probably wouldn't have changed the course of my life but perhaps I might have been a little kinder to those those hiding some big feelings.
Please click back here and read my introduction to this set of posts. It will explain a lot. As ever your thoughts on whatever I share here are taken to my heart and that you take the time is just grand. It occurred to me to label these posts 'Life ReCollections'. You will see them popping up over the next few weeks when I feel brave enough....
Hi Jo, I wrote a long and thoughtful response the other day to your intro to these posts, and then something happened as I tried to post it and it got wiped - of course I then got interrupted before I could grasp the thread of my thoughts and remember what I'd been trying to say.
ReplyDeleteBasically it was that I love your writing and it is an honour to have you share your feelings and experiences with us. I love your blog and wherever you want to take me I'm more than happy to come along for the ride.
Music is so evocative of time and place...so many songs take me back in time; some make me smile and some feel like a punch in the guts. And yes hopefully as years go by we gain insight into our past selves, and those we spent time with...it is normal when young to be wrapped up in ourselves and not really see those around us clearly. It can be strange and unsettling to look back and see a path that we could have taken that we didn't see at the time. Thanks for being brave and sharing! Rachel xx
Thanks Rachel, I was so happy to see your comment. I will keep with the posts and see where it takes me!Maybe its all a little bit of working things through for me. We will see. But thanks again and I am always happy to hear from you, Jo xx
DeleteJo, I was so meant to click on this post this morning. Firstly I just mentioned Walking and Talking in my blog post today which has a Billy Bragg soundtrack and Let me paint you a picture is one of the songs. And secondly I was literally, just now, lurking at someone's facebook page - someone I used to know, in a platonic/slightly painful way ;-)
ReplyDeleteMix tapes were a killer weren't they, looking for hidden meanings in the tapes given to us, adding hidden meanings to the ones we gave. Sometimes not so well hidden!
I stopped listening to 'sad songs' a while ago. i don't brood much anymore. But man, did i ever! I look back at that person and want to hug her so much.
Thanks for this post Jo. x
Hi, so much of what you say here Francesca resonates with me! There is a whole book to be written on mix tapes, in fact I think Nick Hornby has already done it!I guess a lot of life just passes, and Maybe I am taking a bit of time to examine it. And yes I think I will put a lot of it away for a while. Although there is a sort of pleasure/pain thing going on with the sad songs I think! And that film does look good. I think I will watch it soon, thanks so much for your comment, Jo xx
DeleteHello, this is such a beautiful post! We all have certain songs that trigger memories - good and bad and definitely in my case, cringey :-) I think we're all a bit 'blind' and wrapped up in ourselves when we're young(er). I guess it's a part of growing up and finding yourself...
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to your next instalment! Col x
Thanks Col, I am sure there is nothing cringey in your past with your beautiful taste in everything. Thanks for your words, when you go out on a limb its so very reassuring when people you respect take the time to comment. So much appreciated, Jo xx
DeleteWhat a lovely post Jo ... music and songs can have so much emotion and memories wrapped up in them ... just hearing one can transport us back to a different place and time ... as for 'not seeing' ... I think we are all guilty of that sometimes ... especially when we were younger and wrapped up in what we were feeling, it was hard to see how others felt ... beautifully written as always ... looking forward to your next post ... Bee xx
ReplyDeleteThanks Bee, I know its easy to be too hard on your younger self. And they say the last thing you ever find out about is your effect on people, I think we are meant to be a bit blind to it sometimes. Anyway I really appreciate your kind words and glad you enjoyed reading. Very much appreciated, Jo xx
DeleteOh Jo, what a post! Thank you for this. Music (like smell, I always think) has such a powerful and immediate way of transporting us back to previous places and events. Some happy, some not so happy. We are all guilty of the "not seeing" - hindsight is a wonderful thing.
ReplyDeleteYou do write beautifully, by the way.
Gillian x
Thanks Gillian, that's a really great complement to get. Writing has become a bit of an urge this last year or so. I will just go with it and see where it takes me. That you took the time to write that is very special, Jo xx
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